I'm Not Giving Up, Just Giving In
by The Lady Osipria
Summary: At the end of season 1 when Damon kisses Katherine thinking it's Elena. In my story it was really Elena and this will follow her struggle to keep Damon away and then her eventual giving in. Follows canon events in season 2.
1. Chapter 1

Elena shut the door heavily behind her and breathed in and out. She could not believe what she had just done. She had kissed Damon. She kissed her boyfriend's brother. Even worse was that Jenna seen her. Why did she do that? It was wrong. But it had felt really good. No it did not feel good, she told herself. It felt wrong and she had betrayed Stefan.

"Oh God," she panicked. She'd have to tell Stefan. She couldn't lie to him but he would be so hurt. She was broken out of her musings when she heard the phone ring. She moved to the kitchen and picked it up. It was Bonnie. Her eyes filled with concern as she heard her explain that Caroline was in the hospital. She immediately called Jenna back downstairs and she drove us to the hospital.

When they got there they spoke to Bonnie. Apparently Caroline was not doing so well. No I could not lose her not now, I thought desperately. As if on cue, Damon stepped out of nowhere. She inwardly groaned. She did not want to deal with him now. She shook her head immediately when he suggested giving Caroline blood but Bonnie had sided with him. When Bonnie left they were alone.

"Look I know this is probably the last thing you'd want to do right now, but we should talk about what happened tonight," he said in a slightly hesitant voice. I shook my head at him.

"Damon I really don't have time for this. What happened was mistake so just forget it," I tried to walk past him but he grabbed my arm firmly.

"Hey if you want to forget it happened, fine but I can't." I shivered at the intensity in his voice and the almost desperate look in his eyes. I pulled my arm free.

"Stop it, okay. I don't know why I kissed you but it will not happen again. Just leave me alone." I walked off then as I saw Jenna get back from getting coffee. I could see her glaring at Damon over my shoulder. I chanced a look back at him and I almost felt sorry for telling him to back off. He looked slightly...depressed in way. Not Jeremy level depressed of course but it was something I'd never seen on him before. I turned away and followed Jenna to some seats in the waiting room.

A/N: This one is really short but the next one will be longer. This story will follow the events of season 2 basically but obviously the attention will be placed mostly on Damon and Elena. Please review! :)


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks to all who followed the story. It means a lot :) Here is the next chapter

My eyes were barely open as Jenna, Jeremy and I walked up the steps of the Lockwood mansion. We were here to pay our respects to the Mayor but I was so tired. I had not been able to sleep last night because all I could think about was Damon and how his lips felt against mine and how broken he had looked when I had blatantly rejected him. I probably only fell to sleep at around four in the morning and I had tried to use coffee as a fixer but so far it is not kicking in.

Before we entered the house I saw Damon standing on the porch, drinking as usual. He still looked broken down but he looked a little angry too. Not just that but he also looked very drunk. Meaning he had probably been drinking all morning before coming to the party. Alcohol mixing with an upset Damon was not a great combination. I sighed and approached him slowly. He didn't look at me but I knew he knew I was there.

"Hey, how are you doing?" I asked feeling genuinely concerned. He gave me a smile that did not reach his eyes.

"Great Elena, walking on sunshine, thanks for asking." I rolled my eyes at his clear deflection. I stepped closer and grabbed his arm to make him look at me. He glared slightly.

"You're not fine Damon. Come on, we're close enough now. We should be able to talk about this," I tried in a gentle pleading voice. He scoffed and I could tell he was annoyed with me.

"Yeah Elena, of course we can talk about this because that's not what I was trying to do last night at the hospital where it was incidentally YOU who refused to talk about this!" His voice slowly rose in volume with each word and I sighed.

"I know and I'm sorry, okay? There was too much going on and I just couldn't deal."

"Well how do you think I feel? Do you even care?" he spat at me and I flinched slightly at his tone.

"Of course I care! I just don't understand why you're getting so worked up about this! It was just a kiss Damon, it didn't mean anything!" I argued in a strained voice. I saw hurt flash in his eyes.

"It meant something to me Elena!" My mouth hung open a little in shock and I was speechless.

"I kissed you Elena and you kissed me back. Don't even try to deny that! I thought that for once I might actually get what I want!" I found the power of speech once more and I tried to ignore his wounded look as I spoke.

"I'm not denying that I kissed you Damon because I did. I don't know why I did but I did. Don't you understand how terrible I feel now? I betrayed Stefan! If he found out about this he would never forgive me; or you for that matter!" The confidence was slowly fading from my voice and could feel tears pricking at my eyes at the thought of Stefan's betrayed face.

"Elena, I know that Stefan will hate me for kissing you but believe me, my brother would forgive you anything. I know it's selfish of me but I want you Elena." My heart gripped at his words and I felt my stomach twitch as he finally admitted that he wanted me, which was a surprise. I knew that his words about Stefan were not true though. Stefan would not be able to forgive my misdemeanor.

I just..." I broke off, not really knowing how to say what I wanted to say.

"You just what Elena?" he prompted and I sighed in frustration.

"I never even knew that you felt anything for me! This is the first I've heard about it! I know that you constantly flirt with me but you always do that with everyone so I didn't think anything of it. I thought it was some part of your fixation with Katherine. When you kissed me last night, it took me by completely surprise." He looked taken aback by my words and he seemed to struggle with a reply.

"You're really surprised that I wanted to kiss you? You already knew I wanted to kiss you Elena. I tried to not long after we first met, remember?"

"Yeah you did but this was different. I'm not stupid Damon. Now that I know you feel something I can see why you're so upset. It's not because I kissed you and regretted it. It's because you thought that I was giving you a real chance to be with me. I'm sorry but I can't do that. I'm in love with your brother. It's not right." I was impressed by the strength in my voice.

"It is right Elena. You feel something for me too. If you didn't you would never have kissed me back!" he argued and I could see the determination in his eyes.

"Not love Damon. I don't think it could ever be love. I don't love you Damon," I kept my words determined but I made them gentler. The look in his eyes did not waiver.

"Not yet but it could be love Elena if you let it. If you gave me a chance to show you how good I could be to you. You don't know the real me. I've never shown anyone the real me. I could do that with you; for you," his eyes were pleading now and his tone was desperate. I knew his words were slightly alcohol affected because they slurred a little.

"Damon, stop saying things you don't mean. You're drunk," I tried and I attempted to walk away but he grabbed me again.

"No Elena, I mean every word I'm saying! I can love you Elena, I already do! Isobel was right! Maybe I didn't know it at the time but I do now. Please Elena let me love you," I didn't know how much more of this I could take. He looked so pathetic begging me like this and I could not believe that this was the same Damon that usually is so cool and collected. I looked around and I could see a few people watching us, thankfully though they did not know me. I turned back to Damon's broken face and I sighed. He needed to leave. I could tell that he was that close to doing something stupid and if I said anything now he would lose it. I grabbed onto his arm and began to lead him off of the porch.

"Where are we going?" he slurred in confusion. His voice was so childlike and I could not help the small smile it brought on my face. I led him to his car and opened the door and deposited him in the passenger seat. He looked up at me waiting for my explanation.

"I'm taking you home. It's not safe for you to be here around people with you in this state. I just have to go inside to tell Jenna I'm not feeling well." He looked satisfied with my words and sat quietly while I closed the door and marched back up to the house.

When I went inside I spotted Stefan and when he noticed me, his eyes lit up in happiness. I felt the guilt bite at me but I returned the smile even though it was a little strained. When I approached him I watched in confusion as his nose wrinkled slightly. He coughed a little.

"Um Elena, please don't take this the wrong way but uh, why do you smell like you've just showered in bourbon?" I frowned before I took a whiff of myself and groaned in disgust. He was right. I smelt awful and I had a drunken Damon to thank for that. I didn't want to tell Stefan that though.

"Oh that! Um Jenna and I were having a laugh in the kitchen this morning and I went to get her a glass of bourbon and I spilt it all over me. I didn't have time for another shower so I could only change clothes," my story was absolutely ridiculous and I was shocked when he nodded with laugh, accepting my excuse.

"Tough break. Make sure you keep away from my brother though. His love for that stuff is ridiculous and I'm sure he would enjoy the fact that you smell like you swam in a swimming pool of it a little too much." My returned laugh was a little hysterical and I cursed myself for not being in better control.

"Yeah um I have to go see Jenna. I can't stand smelling like this anymore, it's kind of making me feel sick so I'm going to go home." He smiled and nodded.

"Okay well I'll call you later," He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine softly. I felt guilty and I broke away quickly, forcing a smile before walking off in search of Jenna. The thing that stuck out in my head was that his lips had felt wrong. I shook my head at my thoughts. That was ridiculous! Damon's kiss was the one that was wrong. But did it feel wrong? My subconscious whispered to me and it hurt me to realise that no, it had not felt wrong; at all.

After I told Jenna I was going home, I made my way back out to the car. He was surprisingly sitting very much the same as he was before. When I got in the driver's seat, he gave me a small grin and I glared at him and held my hand out for his keys. He rolled his eyes and felt in his pockets until he deposited the key in my hand. I started the car and pulled out onto the road.

"You better be careful. This car is my baby," he mumbled groggily and I could tell the alcohol was catching up with him. I could not believe I had not picked up on it before but now in the small confines of the car, the scent of bourbon was overpowering and incredibly sickening. I had to wind my window down all the way in order to breathe properly.

"It's lucky you are a vampire or I'm pretty sure you would be dead from all the bourbon you've drank. Seriously I don't understand the allure of it. It's disgusting and too strong," I said with my nose scrunched up. He shrugged and gave me a mocking glance.

"That's because you're a girl and you can't hold your liquor and believe me Elena you should be thankful I drained practically all the bourbon in the house. Better that than a bunch of sorority girls," I groaned at him and pushed him slightly with one hand.

"How can you talk about stuff like that so casually? And for the record, 1: That is so sexist and 2: Remember who was drinking you under the table in Georgia?" I teased and I saw his eyes light up in recognition and happiness.

"Please, I let you think you were that good. I was trying to cheer you up after all and by the way I don't think I ever got a thank you for that," he teased and I gave him a reluctant smile.

"Okay fine. Thank you. I did have a reluctantly good time. Happy?"

"I'll be happy if you kiss me again..." he trailed off suggestively and I gave him a scolding look. He held his hands up defensively.

"Just putting the offer out there. I know you want me Elena. The sooner you accept that, the sooner this town will be safe from this depraved, alcoholic vampire." I glared at him resolutely and I turned my eyes back to the road.

"So basically, you're threatening to go on a killing spree if I don't admit I feel something for you? How twisted are you?" He surprised me and reached over and gripped my knee and rubbed it gently.

"Relax Elena, I'm kidding...But that is one of the things holding you back isn't it? You don't like the fact that I kill people." I chanced a look at him and I tried to ignore the feeling of his fingers massaging my knee. He was absolutely serious now and I gulped before turning to the road again.

"It's one reason, yes," I conceded softly.

"What are the others?" he asked again seriously and because I heard no mocking in his voice I decided to explain.

"Well you're dangerous. Not just physically but also emotionally. I know your reputation Damon. You're not exactly the one girl kinda guy. Are even capable of a monogamous relationship?" he seemed surprised that this was the first thing I brought up.

"That's one of your reasons? That I won't be able to be faithful to you?" he looked incredulous at the thought. I gave him a look.

"Elena the reason I don't do relationships is because of Katherine. I spent a hundred and forty five years looking for her and I was saving my heart for her because I thought she loved me. Obviously we all know now what an idiot I was but that's why I never let anyone close to me like that. Believe me Elena if you let yourself be mine, I would be the most faithful guy you will ever find because when I love, I love with everything I am and all I have wanted in over a hundred years was for someone to love me back. A trait that has constantly screwed me over," I was amazed by the passion in his words. His words reminded me of what Lexi had told me at Caroline's party that time. It rang true in this moment and I acknowledged the fact that I should not even worry about that. If, and it is an 'if' because I am not entirely convinced, Damon loved me, he would be faithful to me because he is a vampire and when they love they REALLY love. Urgh! Why was I even contemplating this? I felt my hands shaking on the steering wheel and gripped it harder.

"You really mean it don't you? You love me?" He nodded confidently and I sighed.

"When did you start feeling like this?" I asked and there was no judging in my tone. I really just wanted to know and for the first time since Georgia, I found myself enjoying speaking with him.

"I don't really know but if I had to pick a moment, I'd have to say when you told me you were sorry about Katherine 'dying'. It was completely unexpected. No one had ever bothered to care about how I felt before and in that moment I knew that you were different; good. It's what stopped me from killing you the night I killed the football coach." My small smile that had developed slowly dropped at his last words and I frowned at him a little bit alarmed. He jumped to explain.

"Before I killed the coach, I taunted Stefan. I threatened to kill you but he told me that I wouldn't hurt you; that that was my humanity because I cared about you deep down. I was angry; angry that he thought he knew me and could tell me who I was, so I killed the coach. I came to your house that night and into your bedroom through your window. I came to kill you but as I watched you sleep, I couldn't do it. You just looked so...peaceful and beautiful and the thought of you dying hurt for some reason that I did not understand at the time."

I was a little shocked and fear prickled inside me at this new knowledge. I could have died that night. It was a disconcerting thought to find out that someone who wished you harm at the time had been in your room ready to kill you. The comfort that he hadn't was palpable. I gulped and decided to change the subject.

"So basically what you're saying is you want me to dump Stefan for you," I asked slowly and he nodded unabashedly with a grin. I shook my head at him.

"I can't just do that. I don't want to hurt him," I whispered. I saw him shrug his shoulders simply.

"Well don't tell him. What he doesn't know can't hurt him after all." I gave him a look of absolute shock. I quickly turned back to the road to avoid crashing.

"Now you're asking me to cheat on him. That's just as bad if not worse!" I cried and I watched him roll his eyes.

"What's BAD is the fact that you have feelings for his brother and you already kissed him. If you're going to hell, you may as well do it thoroughly." I shook my head stubbornly.

"I do not have feelings for you and I'm not attracted to you at all. That kiss was just a momentary lapse in judgement." He looked a little hurt by my words and I even felt a little guilty. The look was masked soon and he gave me a knowing smirk.

"Whatever you say Elena. Lie all you want to yourself but you want me and it's only a matter of time before you WILL admit it. You're going to crave me." I hated the smug tone he had.

"Ok fine maybe I do want you. Want is not love. I LOVE Stefan! I'm not going to throw that away just because my stupid body can't control itself."

"Want can become love Elena. Stefan is your high school sweetheart. Believe me I've been around long enough to see those relationships fizzle and die. He treats you like a little girl that can't handle herself."

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel, annoyed by him demeaning Stefan and my relationship.

"You don't know that and how exactly should I be treated then Damon?" I gave him a challenging look and my breath shook and he moved closer to me. I kept my eye ahead on the road, trying to ignore his proximity. His breath tickled my ear as he spoke in a low voice.

"You're no little girl Elena. You should be treated like the woman you are. I bet he treats you like that even when you're in bed together. He would be so afraid of losing control and hurting you. I bet he can't even get you off with how gentle he treats you." I tried to control my breathing and ignore what he was saying. I became angry quickly and shoved him so he fell back against his seat, which I'm sure I would not have been able to do if he hadn't let me.

"That is none of your business! At least Stefan cares enough to not want to hurt me." I spat angrily and slightly embarrassed. I found the anger though was not because he was saying these things to me but it was because they were true. I pulled the car into the boarding house and shut off the engine. I got out and waited for him to do so as well but he pouted at me annoyingly.

I let out a cry of frustration before rounding the car and opening his door for him and slinging one of his arms over my shoulders and struggling to lift him from the car. I staggered up to the door and after a few tries opened it and continued on inside. I led him over to the couch and dropped him unceremoniously. As soon as I stepped away he stood and walked over to his liquor cabinet casually. My eyes widened in outrage! The bastard was fine!

"You...You were perfectly fine! Why the hell did you pretend to be so drunk?" I spluttered in annoyance. He turned to me with an eye roll, glass of bourbon in hand.

"I wasn't pretending. It just wears off a lot quicker for vampires; a very annoying fact." Huh. Well I was still angry. I marched over to him and snatched the glass from his hand.

"Hey!" he protested as I walked over and deposited the contents into the fire. He glared at me as I walked back to him.

"You were completely smashed less than an hour ago and the first thing you do is drink more?" He shrugged as if to say 'exactly' and I rolled my eyes and made my way in the direction of the front door. I didn't make it very far before I jumped in surprise as he used his vampire speed to stand in front of me. I waited expectantly for whatever the hell he wanted. I did not have to wait long as his lips descended on mine, taking me by surprise. I tried to stay still and pretend I did not enjoy it. It was a lost cause because soon I let my hands drift up to grip on his shoulders and I pressed myself closer to him, moaning against his lips. It was as if my lips had a mind of their own as they moved against his and the feeling of my back hitting the wall snapped me back to the present. I broke off and tried to catch my breath as I stared up at him in shock. He had the most annoyingly satisfied smirk on his face. I got control of myself again soon and when I did I slapped him hard across the face. His smirk did not drop at all.

"How dare you do that! I love Stefan! It will never be you, ever! Why can't you just let this go?" I cried desperately. He leaned in close to me and I tried to back away more but it was impossible with the wall against my back. He didn't try to kiss me again though. He spoke quietly.

"Elena, you just kissed me again. That is why I can't let this go. You should know by now that I am selfish and I will not stop until I get what I want. I'll see you around." And with that said he backed off and I breathed out in relief and practically scurried from the boarding house. It wasn't until I was halfway down the street that I realized that once again he was right.

A/N: Hope you liked this! Please review! Next chapter will be up soon :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hey there! Here is the next chapter. It's a bit short but I the next one is longer. I wrote this a while back and it's not as good as my others but I don't think it needed much changed seeing as it's only a small situation. I hope you like it!

The next day I avoided the Salvatore house like the plague. I did not want to chance running into Damon. I even had made an effort to avoid Stefan, because of how guilty I felt. Luckily today was the carnival, which Bonnie and I we're covering arrangements for in place of Caroline who was still in hospital. All the work I managed to do helped keep my mind off of the older Salvatore but when I had moments to myself I couldn't help my mind running wild.

I had kissed him back. I felt like such an idiot. What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, I retorted back at myself. I could not deny that it had felt good kissing him but it was wrong. He was not good. He had hurt so many people that I love. Sure, he had proven that he would help when I needed him. That was the thing. It was only when I needed him. He could not care less about anyone else. How could I give him a chance when everyone I love hated him? I shook my head at myself. Why was I even contemplating this? It was not going to happen, period.

I was relieved when I noticed that people had started to arrive and the festivities got underway. My relief was short lived when I spotted Damon standing around not far from where I was. I deliberately snapped my eyes down, hoping that he had not seen me. I looked over the information on my clipboard, pretending there was a problem even though it was perfectly correct. I looked up again hesitantly and my eyes widened comically as I noticed that he was not there anymore. I frantically searched the area with my eyes but it was as if he was never there. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me and I HAD imagined him. My answer came quickly as I was unable to stop the small scream that burst from my throat as I felt an arm close around my waist. I heard him laughing behind me and I grit my teeth as I pushed his arm off and turned to face him. He was looking at me innocently.

"Don't do that! You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing here anyway? Kind of sad don't you think? Aren't you too old to be hanging around with a bunch of high school kids?" I said with an air of confidence that I really did not have. He simply quirked his lips before putting his arm around my shoulders and ignoring my attempts to push him off.

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I just let you go to the carnival alone?" I could hear the humour in his voice and I groaned dramatically. He was really not going to stop. I gave up trying to pull out of his grasp. He was too strong for me so it was no use.

"You. Are. Not. My. Boyfriend, Okay? My boyfriend is here somewhere and you should probably stop hitting on me before he comes around. I think you know him already. Stefan? He's your brother, remember?" I said mockingly in a casual voice. I felt him shrug and squeeze my shoulder gently.

"Sorry not ringing any bells. Besides I thought that with the recent '_developments' _you would finally see sense and ditch your brooding forehead boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes at his jab at Stefan and sighed. I stopped walking suddenly and he stopped too. I was relieved when he let go of me to face me. I gathered up my strength in attempt to actually sound convincing.

"Listen Damon, yesterday was a huge mistake. I shouldn't have let you kiss me and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong Idea but it is not going to happen again, okay? I love Stefan and I'm always going to love him. I mean doesn't it bother you that you are trying to steal your brother's girlfriend? Don't you care that you are intentionally going to hurt him? And don't give me that 'eternity of misery' crap because I know you gave up on that a long time ago."

I watched as he considered my words. His mouth pressed into a thin line before answering.

"Of course I know that this is going to hurt Stefan. Even though I don't like to admit it, I don't want to hurt him. I just...I can't stay away from you and now that I know you feel something too I can't just let it go. I thought it would always be all about Katherine but now I see how wrong I was. You're a million times better than she ever was or could be. Please Elena, just give in. I know you want to but you're just scared." I was taken aback by his words. They were brutal and honest. He had dropped all smart ass pretences and was just being honest with me. I swallowed slowly before I answered him.

"Damon, I can't do this. I love Stefan, I can't hurt him. Please just stop." He shook his head at my words and grabbed my hands gently. I felt a spark rush through me as we touched and I wondered if he felt it too. I looked into his eyes, warring with myself.

"I know you love him and you don't want to hurt him but you also feel something for me. I know it's not love, not yet but it's something," He insisted and his grip tightened on my hands but he was still gentle. He paused for a moment as if deciding whether to say something before his gaze turned incredibly soft as he reached out with one hand and stroked my hair back from my face.

"I can love you so much better than him. You know I can. You always have to be careful with him because he can't control himself and I know that you change yourself for his benefit. You don't have to do that with me. You know you don't. You let go with me in Georgia and you were being yourself. You can't have that with him but you can have that with me. Please Elena just give me a chance." My heart was beating rapidly in my chest as his words hit me and the expression on his face was painful to look at. He held such desperation and longing on his face as he begged me to love him. I looked away from him to look at our interlocked hands. His words hurt so much. They hurt because they were true.

While I love Stefan, I found that I was always conditioning myself around him. He wanted me to be innocent and sweet and quiet and I was capable of that. I had quickly become that kind of person after my parent's death but I was slowly getting better and with my recovery, my old self was coming back. What he had said about Georgia was right on the mark. When he had taken me to Bree's bar, I had been amazed by how easy it was to let go around him and I had even found myself acting the way I used to. Regardless of these facts I was desperately holding onto Stefan. I did not want to hurt him and I did not want to lose him. He was such a good friend to me and I knew that he would hate me if something happened with his brother.

I looked up at him again and I could see hope shining in his eyes. I swallowed, feeling guilt creep into me and I squeezed his hand slightly as I leaned up to him. He watched me intently and followed my every move with his eyes. I could not believe what I was doing. I had fought for too long.

"Stefan can't find out," I whispered when our lips were barely inches apart. I saw his eyes widen briefly in surprise but he nodded almost imperceptibly. I pushed myself forward and closed the gap between us and pressed my lips to his. Soon his hand buried into my hair and I moaned as I felt his tongue touch mine finally. I kissed him back hard, putting all my anger, frustration and guilt into it. I love the way he kissed me. It was so passionate and not gentle.

When we broke apart we were both breathing heavily. I rested my hand on his chest to steady myself and he looked down at me questioningly. I knew he wanted to know what this was and I was ready to give him the perfectly blunt answer. The guilt inside me was burning me but I just couldn't walk away. I wanted him and I couldn't fight it anymore. With a humourless, bitter laugh, I responded to his wordless question.

"Consider me officially cheating on my boyfriend with his brother." With the guilt ridden words I pressed a final kiss to his lips before walking away. I did not look back but I knew he was not following me. I had given into him now. He did not have to try to steal every moment because there would be many more for him now anyway. I wondered if Katherine ever felt this guilt but I quickly dismissed the idea. That was always the difference between her and me. She did not care but I did. I cared and I knew this was going to be a big mistake but I couldn't bring myself to stop it.

A/N: I hope you liked it and please review! Next one will be up soon! :)


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